stuck in the mud

funny story.
our house falls to pieces when it rains. everything that could go wrong will go wrong with that house when it raining outside. we have a terrible driveway. cracked right down the middle so that there's this hump in the middle and a ditch on either side. when it rains both the side ditches will fill up with MUD. they've progressively gotten worse. now its not just a little mud its more like two small muddy ponds.

this morning i ran to 7-11 for some milk and then was just going to quickly drop off the milk at home and then shoot off to work. instead of parking out in the street, or in the driveway ocean, i parked right in the freakin' yard. right up to the porch almost. so then when i went to leave i back out and didn't hit cement, but mud. the car got stuck right away. the more i tried to back out the deeper i dug myself. before i knew it, the tires were spinning and shooting mud 15 feet into the air!

after several "creative" attempts to free my car, we gave up. it is still there. . . in the front yard (and half way into the neighbor's yard).

help me.